Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Insincere Compliments

I don't know if you know about what I meant about insincere compliments but here are a few for reference. 

"You have great features but you would have been prettier if you lost weight." 

"How can you be single if you have such a good personality?" 

"For a fat girl, you're considered good-looking." 

Seriously, how is it possible to take these as compliments when it's obviously so negative? These are things that I've heard in my life from people who are clearly insensitive or just felt the need to say something mean but hoping that it passes off as a compliment. 

This was what happened recently, a friend commented on one of my outfit photo telling me that I would do well if I got a job if I modeled for plus-size fashion. 
Let's pause a moment because I'm confused. Is she indirectly telling me that I'm fat? Or is she implying that I have good fashion sense? A few of my friends who saw the comment felt sorry for me because they thought of it as  insensitive and rude, and they actually offered comfort to me. (They were super supportive of me!)
Don't get me wrong I'm not being cynical, I just don't like to be labelled as 'plus size'. I'm definitely not size two and by society standards I should be the 'plus size' represent. But is putting the label to sizing necessary? Being called 'plus size' isn't empowering at all because the word itself leads to association such as 'bigger' or 'larger than normal'. There's fashion for petite girls and I wonder why for curvy girls have to come with the tag of  'plus-size'.
I'm not at all affected by this person but I'm in doubt of whether she genuinely wanted to compliment me about my dressing style. (I could think of  a million other ways to make it sound more positive.)

What I want to say is, choose your words wisely. Giving insincere compliments sound no less offensive than people who say it directly to your face.Why mask it under sweet words if they're intended to hurt someone? Don't lavish your compliments just to make yourself feel like the nicer person when in fact your underlying meaning to it is criticism. 

2 comments:

  1. Hello dearest Clarie! Sometimes people just really do not know when not to say stuff, and these people are likely to hurt us. You're beautiful the way you are, and you're a gorgeous lady from what I see ;))

    Stay cheerful sweetie! <3

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    Replies
    1. You're the sweetest <3 Yeah I'm aware of that, but I guess people should learn to put more thoughts into words.
      Love you.

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