R R Rant: Boobie Woes

You read it right, I'm talking about boobs right now! I intended to keep this to myself but I thought ranting would be the best to vent my frustrations now. So bear with my, breasties. 

So recently there is this person who is annoying me. This annoying person, let's just call her K.

K is a person is seemingly self-conscious about herself. She takes interest in keeping a good physique, health food that I bring to work and also fashion. So whenever she asks about workout & dieting tips or fashion advise, I'd willingly share my knowledge with her. 

Anyway previously, she claimed that she needed to reduce weight so I introduced her Blogilates and Jessica Smith for simple exercises that could be done in the comfort at her home.
Her excuse was.. "Huh.. But I don't like to exercise."

Also, there are times that I thoughts she's weird. Note that I'm not close with K, I barely knew her.
On my work days, I'd usually pack homemade salad because I insist on eating healthy. Whenever I open my lunchbox, I could almost see K's eyes lighting up. She would ask me a tonne of questions like where can she get the granola bar that I'm eating, the recipe of my salad, where I bought my salad dressing and on and on. There are some days that she go out of her way to compliment about how awesome my salad looks and its making her tummy growl, I'd ask her if she wanted to try out of courtesy. (Of course, she went right ahead without refusing.) But this is fine because I invited her to taste my salad.

Well, the most annoying part has yet to come. Let's rewind to last week... 

It was a typical work day in the office, K suddenly came beside me and she started squishing my arm before giving a suggestion she thought was wise.

K was like: "Clarie, have you seen a nutritionist to see how much weight you can lose? *gives a serious face while studying my body* I believe that if you become slimmer you would look better." 

Seriously.... You are not self-inviting to my inner-circle are you? First, who gave you the permission to touch me or have any skin contact with me??!!  (Get your hands off me!!!)
Come on auntie, we are not even close for goodness sake! What makes you think I am in for discussion about my weight with you. And bitch please, of all the people you are worst when it come to diet. You have the least self-control, constantly snacking on unhealthy snacks not forgetting that MacDonald s is your favorite food. Now, who needs a nutritionist more? 

And yesterday K decided to she take another chance in knocking the doors to my circle by asking me an awkwardly outrageous question. I was wearing a  black mashed top with a floral skater skirt and one of my colleague commented that I looked slimmer than before. But I told her it's the top that made me visually slimmer. K who sat at the corner decided to get involved  by stating her disagreement. She just had to made a comment and give her piece of her mind... (Actually, nobody asked for your opinions, how about you just shut up?)

She said.. "Hmm I think your breasts are too concentrated in the middle. Maybe if you exercise more and slim your boobs you will look slimmer. "

Yeah she just did, SHARED HER BLOODY PIECE OF MIND WHEN I DIDN'T FUCKING ASK FOR IT. My boobs are concentrated? Of course it is, that's what bras are made for right???!!! My boobs are in the right  place and it's where it should be. If not what? Am I supposed to leave my boobs hanging outside of my bra? (Sexual harassment much?)

I stood there dumbfounded by the ridiculous comment that she just made and she continued with her crap about how she have fuller breasts when she was pregnant (Auntie TMI! Nobody is interested!!!). I felt relieved for a moment thinking that it's all over until she diverted her attention back to me, shamelessly probing..  "I'm just curious but what is your cup size uh? Got F or not ah, like Jolin? "

SO WHAT YOU ARE CURIOUS AUNTIE??!! I DON'T LIVE TO SATISFY YOUR CURIOSITY!!! This is just plain rude! We are not even close or connected or what so ever, give me a damn good reason that I should answer you? Do you think I'm stupid enough to tell you and let you broadcast to the whole whole?
In my mind, I was thinking. Yeah my cup is F... U C K U. Hahaha. Well I didn't bother replying because I know what might come next.

"Oh so does the gene runs in the family also? "

"What do you eat to have boobs like this? "

And blah blah blah... ... She'd be sure to question me like I'm some offender.

I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT THIS IS HOW MY BODY IS STRUCTURED IF YOU WANT BOOBS MAYBE YOU CAN CONSIDER PLASTIC SURGERY!

Oh yes, she even tried to apologize to me with minimal effort.

"Eh, no offence uh. I hope you are not offended what I just said." 

Yeah yeah yeah, that was so convenient of you. If you thought that it's offensive, you wouldn't have asked me in the first place. It's like killing someone and then tell them that you're sorry for killing them. WHAT FOR?

So today, I intentionally wore something that has a lower neck-line because I wanted to see what else she has to say. True enough, she didn't disappoint because I just knew she couldn't help herself.
She commented that I was very westernized but when I asked her why she didn't say much AND THEN.... somehow or another, she managed to pick up where she left off last week... (She certainly has ZERO creativity in starting a conversation.)

"You know you have pretty eyes? If you slim down you will be prettier."

Yeah right, maybe if you shut up you'd seem less ugly. SERIOUSLY, WHEN ARE YOU FUCKING GOING TO STOP AUNTIE K? AND WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME OR MY BODY?

I don't need you to judge my beauty.

People like her should cease to exist, she doesn't think about what place she is in to have given suggestions or comments. I don't need your shit advise or comments because I worked hard for what I am today and if I were to get the same shit again next week, I'll be sure to fire back. Seriously, just stfu bitch.